DUE DILIGENCE: The Vetting Workbook for Women Who Are Serious About Marriage
In 30 days you'll have a written verdict on the man you've been unsure about for two years.Alternatives to A/B test: Two Years of Wondering Ends on One Page You Already Know. This Is How You Prove It. The Workbook That Turns "I Don't Know" Into a Decision Not another list of red flags. A 149-page assessment instrument — twelve areas to score, the scripts for every conversation you've been avoiding, and one page at the end that tells you what to do.THE PROBLEMYou're not confused. You're stuck. There's a difference. You knew something was off by month three — and every month since, you've talked yourself out of it with a reason that sounded excellent at the time. Your best friend stopped asking about him. You noticed. And some part of you was relieved, because you already know what she'd say. December came and went. Twice. Everyone travelled home, every family was in one place, every aunty had her diary open — and nothing happened. He's not waiting for a better moment. There isn't one. You've rehearsed the conversation a hundred times in the shower and never had it, because you don't have the words and nobody ever taught you them. Our mothers didn't ask their husbands about money before marriage. The families handled it. And there's the question you've never said out loud to anyone. The one about papers, or money, or what he actually wants from you. You've carried it at 2am for months and put it away every time, because asking would make you a certain kind of woman. You are not overthinking. You are running an assessment with no instrument, no record, and no standard — and you've been doing it for two years.THE SOLUTIONDue Diligence is not dating advice. It's a vetting instrument.You wouldn't buy a flat without a survey. You wouldn't sign a business partnership without knowing what the other party owes. Nobody has ever called a survey unromantic.And here's what nobody says out loud: his family is already assessing you. They're asking about your people, your background, your church, your standing. That's how it has always worked, on both sides, for generations.You're the only person in this arrangement operating without information.This workbook fixes that in four moves:One — you write your standard first, and seal it. Before you assess a single thing about him. Because a standard set after you've fallen in love isn't a standard, it's a description of him.Two — you assess twelve areas with evidence, not feelings. Intentions, consistency, money, conflict, boundaries, direction, values, his exes, his friends, his family, the diaspora questions, and the timeline. Each one ends in a scored worksheet.Three — you have the four conversations, using scripts written out line by line, including exactly what to say when the answer isn't an answer.Four — you score it. Your dealbreakers count double. You get a percentage and a band: commit, pause, or leave. Then you hand one page to your most honest friend and let her read it back to you.What you get at the end is not a feeling. It's a dated page in your own handwriting that says the same thing on Tuesday as it said on Saturday.WHAT'S INSIDE — 149 pagesPart One — Why You Can't See Him Clearly1. The Cost of a Slow No — Prices the two years you've already spent, so that waiting stops looking like the safe option.2. Why Your Instincts Went Quiet — Proves your instincts were never wrong; they were overruled — and shows you the four mechanisms that did it.3. Preference, Dealbreaker, or Something You'll Resent in Ten Years — Gives you a written standard, sealed in an envelope, before you assess him.Part Two — The Twelve Areas4. Intentions — Stops you grading him on what he promises and starts you grading him on what he's actually arranged.5. Consistency — Replaces your memory with a 90-day written record, because performance runs out around week eight.6. Money — Shows you his real position: what he owes, who he carries, and whose name is on the land at home.7. How He Fights — Lets you see him under pressure once, on purpose, instead of hoping it never comes up.8. What He Does With the Word "No" — Tells you whether your no is treated as information or as an obstacle to be worn down.9. Where He's Going — Separates the man who is early from the man who has stalled, and stops you confusing status with direction.10. Faith, Values, and the Things You Assumed — Turns eight comfortable assumptions into actual spoken answers before they become year-three fights.11. The Ghosts: Exes and Patterns — Finds the repeating pattern in his history and tells you whether you're currently standing inside it.12. His People — Shows you the version of him that exists when you're not the audience, and why you'll be married to his floor, not his ceiling.13. Meeting His Family — The chapter nobody writes. Answers the only question that matters: will he stand between you and them?14. The Diaspora Questions — Status, papers, money that flows one way, the man back home. The fear you've never said out loud, tested with evidence instead of anxiety.Part Three — The Conversations15. Scripts for the Talks You've Been Avoiding — Hands you the exact words for four conversations, including what to say when he doesn't answer.16. How to Leave — or How to Commit — Three sentences for a clean exit, or a checklist for committing with your eyes open.Part Four — The Verdict17. The Verdict: Scoring, and How to Read It — Turns twelve worksheets into one page and one percentage you can look at without flinching.18. The Timeline — Gives you a schedule to measure against, so this keeps working long after you close the book.Conclusion: Choosing From a Full Cup — Ends the auditioning and starts the selecting.THE BONUSES — included freeBonus 1 — The 90-Day Vetting Tracker. Printable, one page per week. The tool that makes Chapter 5 work.Bonus 2 — 40 Questions, Sorted by Stage. Ten each for months one, three, six and twelve, in an order that doesn't feel like an interrogation.Bonus 3 — The Family Introduction Checklist. One page to take with you: what to watch, what to ask, and the four things to note in the first hour.Bonus 4 — The One-Page Verdict Sheet. The full scoring system as a standalone printable, so you can run it again in future without rereading the book.Bonus 5 — Where to Get Help. Verified helplines and legal routes for the UK and Nigeria, including the immigration protection most women don't know exists.Bonus 6 — If You're Reading This For Someone Else. For the woman buying this for her sister — how to give it without insulting her, and what to do if she stays anyway.WHO THIS IS FOR The woman who is two years in and still can't answer a simple question about where this is going — and is tired of being told to "just follow her heart" when her heart is exactly what's confused. The African woman abroad navigating tribe, family expectations, black tax, introduction ceremonies and status conversations that no American dating book has ever heard of. The woman who is done with situationships and wants to assess the next one properly from month one instead of reconstructing two years from memory at the end. The woman whose family has started asking — and who needs to make a decision that is actually hers, not her mother's, not her aunties', not the one that would look correct in the photographs. Who this is NOT forAnyone looking for reassurance that he'll change. This book is honest, and some of it will be uncomfortable. If you want comfort, buy something softer.The urgency lineEvery month you wait is another month of the same conversation with yourself.The next December is already coming. You can arrive at it with a verdict in your own handwriting, or with the same question you've been carrying since the last one.The couponUse code DECEMBER for 25% off — first 100 copies only.
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